Realizations

I've spent every night for the past month now, wondering why it is I'm still here. In other words, why haven't I deleted my account yet...Then I read this www.deviantart.com/journal/Com… . I won't ask to be mentioned in the comments mostly because maybe I'm not a Pillar made of heart, maybe I'm just a tool or a floormat. Most of you would say I'm not... but, after everything is done and said I can't call myself a "Community Pillar". I used to look for some sense of "fame" or worth. I used to be inspired to be as great as or as popular as Wooden Toaster, DJPon3, and so on so forth. But in all honesty, who am I to think I could ever be something big in such a wide spread community... Ego, "pride", and whatever else you wanna add, got the best of me I guess I got to watch my page views dwindle from 30 a day average to 1-3 a day. Wwwowww... And here I thought that page views didn't matter to me. So stupid and naive to think I deserved to be anything in any kind of community. And so I suppose that's why I've been inactive, why I've stopped being my old cheery self, why I write the dark and sometimes grim poems, why I stopped donating to the brony community. Because in all honesty, I myself can't hope to be a shining star worth looking at in the night. There's just too many of the other stars already shining brighter than I could ever hope to be... So take this as my apology for being so arrogant, blind, prideful, and egotistical... This little light of mine has been burning a weak flame way past its due date.